A note before this: this reflection is personal, and it's meant to be — this is the one slot in the week where first-person testimony belongs.
Today's finale song, "God I'm Just Grateful," has a line near the end that stopped me the first time I heard it. It's about surviving and being here to testify.
For most people, that line is about getting through something hard. It's true for them, and it's true for me.
But for me, it's also a date.
May 13, 2021
On May 13, 2021, I died.
And Jesus sent me back. He said five words: "There's still so much for you to do."
I've told that story many times, and I'll keep telling it. For a long time, I told it as a miracle — and it is one. But this week, living inside these five songs, I heard it differently.
Not My Second Chance
Being sent back was a chance. That part is obvious. What I hadn't fully seen until this week is that it wasn't my second one.
When I look back over my life, I see chance after chance before that day. Times He let me start over. Times He kept me when I wasn't looking for Him. Times I fell down and found Him still standing there. I didn't deserve those, and most of them I didn't even notice at the time.
He didn't send me back because I'd finally climbed high enough. I hadn't. There was no ladder. He sent me back because He's good.
Every Morning Since
Some days the words come harder than they used to. I still get up. And every morning I do, it's another chance He didn't owe me.
That's what Psalm 103:10 means to me now: "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities." If He kept score, I wouldn't be here to write this.
Why This Matters for You
You may not have a date like mine. But you have chances like mine — more of them than you could ever count.
So count them anyway. You'll run out of numbers before He runs out of grace.
— JDOT Pine
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