Can I be honest about why DARKEN THE DOORWAY hit different for me this week?
I've had my own version of a doorway I stopped trusting. Not a dramatic falling-out with the whole faith — just a season where the rooms I was walking into didn't know what to do with a body that doesn't work right and words that sometimes slip before I'm done needing them. Well-meaning people, wrong reactions. Prayers that felt more like a project than a person being loved.
I stopped wanting to walk back through some of those doors.
May 13, 2021, Jesus sent me back. And in the years since, I've had to relearn something I thought I already knew: He was never confined to the building or the program or the people who got it wrong. He was already outside with me the whole time I was standing there circling the doorway, deciding it wasn't safe.
Living with PPA hasn't made that easier. Some rooms still don't know what to do with a ministry led by a guy whose brain is quietly failing him. But I've stopped needing those rooms to have the final word over whether God's near me.
Whose voice matters? Not the well-meaning wrong reactions. His.
I'm not writing this from the other side of it, fully healed and resolved. I'm writing it from somewhere in the middle — still working on the surrender part some days, if I'm honest. But I know the silence isn't the end of the story. It never was.
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5d4mxyqwVV4DZshFk8rHlB?si=14fb632ea1924ea0 | Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jdot-five-darken-the-doorway/pl.u-gxblMMxI5d5lPp
*Note for JDOT: this is a draft in the established Testimony/Behind-the-Scenes voice — please edit any specifics that aren't accurate to your real experience before this gets scheduled.*
