Can I be honest about why HE FOLLOWS ME DOWN hit different for me this week?
PPA doesn't work like most struggles people picture when they hear "getting back up." There's no single relapse to name and be done with — it's daily. Some mornings my words come out right. Some mornings they don't, and I have to get back up into the same exact frustration I thought I'd made peace with the day before.
I used to treat each hard day like proof I hadn't actually accepted this diagnosis yet — like acceptance was supposed to be a one-time event I'd eventually finish. It's not. It's Tuesday's version of getting up, and then Wednesday's version, and then Thursday's.
May 13, 2021, Jesus sent me back. And what I'm relearning — not once, but on the days that need it most — is that He was never waiting for me to have a good day before He'd meet me. He's already down here, in whatever this particular day looks like.
I'm not writing this from the other side of it, having finally figured out how to get up once and stay up. I'm writing it from inside the pattern — still getting up, some days more gracefully than others.
But the falling isn't the whole story. It never was.
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ALJ9kO6EoBFwC9QcCaJq0?si=ab3de0fdaaa547b2
🎧 Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jdot-five-he-follows-me-down/pl.u-2aoqPPvUNDN2dP
Note for JDOT: this is a draft in the established Testimony/Behind-the-Scenes voice — please edit any specifics that aren't accurate to your real experience before this gets scheduled.
