I know what it's like to keep knocking on a door that doesn't open.
Since May 13, 2021 — the day I died, the day Jesus sent me back — I've been living with a body that doesn't always cooperate and a voice that's getting harder to use every year because of PPA. I've prayed the obvious prayer more times than I can count. Heal it. Stop it. Take it back. And He hasn't. Not the way I asked.
For a long time, that made me hold on tighter. Tighter to control. Tighter to the version of my future I'd already decided was the only acceptable one. Tighter to the idea that if I just prayed hard enough, long enough, right enough, my hands would finally get what they were reaching for.
But gripping never once made the door open.
What I've learned — slowly, and still learning — is that the breakthrough was never going to come from my grip getting stronger. It came from my hands finally opening.
ABUNDANTLY MORE is the arc I built from that. Five songs that walk through the knocking, the wound, the surrender, the declaration, and the praise that follows. It starts with a heart that's still guarded and ends with a voice that's fully free — not because the circumstances changed, but because the grip finally did.
If you're still knocking on something that hasn't opened, I'm not going to tell you it will. I'm going to tell you what I'm learning: He's able to do immeasurably more than you could ask or imagine — but usually not while your hands are still closed around what you think the answer should look like.
Open your hands with me this week. And if you're willing — tell me, in one sentence, what that would actually look like for you.
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5oyvoVQUAR6PrKDnvjfy4Y?si=d283e2ed4e3c4f46 Listen on Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jdot-five-abundantly-more/pl.u-2aoqPKquNDN2dP
