This is the one aspect of my May 13, 2021 story that people have a hard time understanding.
I didn't come back grateful.
Not at first.
I came back angry. And I'll be honest - I stayed angry for a while. There were people I was supposed to do life with who were on the other side. And instead, I was here. Sent back. Tasked with something I hadn't asked for and wasn't sure I wanted.
I told God exactly how I felt. I didn't dress it up.
And He didn't argue with me.
He didn't defend His decision. Didn't explain the plan. Didn't show me the spreadsheet of reasons it made sense.
He just stayed.
That was the beginning of understanding what faithfulness actually means.
Not God showing up when I finally got my attitude right. Not an encounter waiting on the other side of my gratitude.
He was faithful in the anger. He was faithful in the confusion. He was faithful while I was still trying to figure out whether I was glad to be back.
That's what FIRE PROVEN is about.
Not the testimony that's cleaned up and ready to preach. The one that's still being written. The one that got forged in a fire you didn't ask to be in.
The fire didn't destroy what God had built in me.
It proved it.
And I know that — not because someone told me. Because I was there.
I'm still here.
Fire proven.
— JDOT
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